Our ride to the airport will be here in a few minutes. (It's amazing how comforting that little detail is--having a friend drive us instead of taking a cab.) I'm a little stunned by the sensation in my chest; I hadn't expected my nerves to be this jangled. Niles and Em have confessed to feeling it too. I really didn't expect to be this nervous.
Maybe it's because Marty isn't going with us at the beginning. I rely on him for nerves-reduction probably more than he realizes. (Or maybe he realizes it all too well--sorry, hon!) I'm going to miss him a lot for this first half of the Camino; we journey well together, through all kinds of terrain....
Or maybe it's because I've never traveled internationally when I haven't been part of a group. Which means that the responsibility for making connections and communicating in a different language has always been someone else's responsibility. Loss of control issues? We could talk about my nightmares on that topic for days.
So I'm finding myself, when I feel the stress pounding a little harder, going back and reading all the messages of encouragement and support (yup, I really like Facebook), and listening yet again to the gift of music that my friend Maurice has given me (can't even describe what that has meant; it just goes straight to my heart and soothes it), and watching as Niles and Em and I weigh our packs and grin like fools (mine's finally at 18 pounds--success!). And I remember that it's all gonna be fine. The ton of prayers that are going with me don't actually weigh a thing, for all that I can feel them. The crystal Jenne gave me for strength and light rests easy on my chest. And the love of the cloud of witnesses at St. Paul and beyond is almost tangible.
Breathing....
I think it amazing that you are able to do this with your entire family!! God's blessings to all of you on this wonderful journey...I am anxious to read all about it here.
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